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Article
Pre-match shite (pronunciation: luk-kee-poop)

submitted 28th June 2006

Specialized toilet products exist on the market that are tailored to an individual arse.

(Not to be confused with the colloquial term used by Grades cricketers in reference to match previews published on club websites).

A crucial element, of any Grades cricketer's gameday preparation, is the pre-match shite. Most often undertaken an hour (or sometimes minutes) before the start of play, defecation avoids the need for any unscheduled visits to the toilet during a game (which can last up to six hours). More importantly, it can be a ritualistic expurgation of the soul.

Many Grades cricketers believe that the pre-match shite is crucial to success in the game in question. Batsmen, in particular, (because of the "one ball can do you" nature of their contributions), are especially devoted believers in the ritualistic qualities of the practice and often refer to it as "ma lucky shite".

The superstitious personalities of most Grades batsmen may cause an exaggerated perception of the luck element, but few doubt the physical and practical benefits of defecation, in itself.

 

This page was last updated Tuesday, 13 March 2007