Cricket Bingo winners are few and far between.

Based on the popular office game, "Team Meeting Bingo", the cricket version substitutes cricket terminology for office jargon but also throws in some phrases with a more satirical edge, often at the expense of an opponent but team mates are as likely to be targeted.

Rules

Each week, a bingo card is produced containing 9 phrases that can be expected to be said during the course of the relevant match. Participating players mark them off on their cards as soon as they are uttered. When the card is full, the player must shout "House!" at the standing umpire and if the card is correctly filled in then the player wins the £100 prize. Some paraphrasing is allowed for, so for example, "Good sledging, Chris" (on a Bon Accord card) and "Stop spikkin' shite, Chris" would be considered, for the purposes of Cricket Bingo, to be the same phrase.

In the event that the jackpot is not one (there is only one prize per week), then the prize money is rolled over to next week and another £100 added.

History

The game originated on the Bon Accord C.C. website after the site's publishers opted for a more tabloid approach. Several new regular features appeared on the site, including the game of Cricket Bingo. Although huge jackpots have been promised, since it's inception, no-one has yet won.

Some popular Cricket Bingo phrases

• Bon Accord - "Come on Monica", "But it hit my bat!!" (must be said by Nawaz after getting out lbw)
• Cults - "We like you guys", "That's a 4 you cheatin' bastards!" (must be said by Cults support from a distance of over 300 yards from the incident)
• Kintore - "I was out, no excuses" (must be said by Dougie Anderson), "Well played" (must be said by Kintore supporters about opponents), "Meet my wife/sister" 
• Stonehaven - Any phrase in broad Scottish accent is acceptable.
• Banchory - See Stonehaven
• Inverurie - Any phrase with the addition of "ken" at the end.
• Kemnay - "Seconds out", Let's get ready to rumble", "Put 'em up, put 'em up!!"
• Portcullis - "The Grades is perfect" (must be said by David Bowie)
• Stoneywood Dyce (Grades side) - s-i-l-e-n-c-e

Any given bingo card will include several phrases (like the examples above) that are highly unlikely to be uttered during the relevant match under normal circumstances, hence the low success rate. However, from next season (2007) onwards, the Bon Accord Cricket Bingo is planned to become a bona fide game (open to club members only) with a weekly guaranteed prize and the remaining funds going to the club.
NOTE: The Cricket Bingo game on the Bon Accord site has been suspended indefinitely whilst an Inland Revenue investigation into fraud allegations is ongoing.

Some realistic Cricket Bingo phrases

• Bon Accord - "Off stump!!" (must be said to Malik when he's bowling), "That's not like Bon Accord" (must be said by Mac Ahmed), "Come on Monica", "Catch it Kami! Oh! Sorry, never mind"
• Ellon Gordon - "Remember, if it hits John's pads, it probably hit his bat first", "Give Chris Watson a bowl" (must be said by a Bon Accord batsman)
• St Ronald - "1-2-3-4-5-6-7-erm, anybody else coming?"
• Kemnay - "Sorry (duck) Steve (bob) for dropping (weave) that catch (parry) off your bowling (swerve)"
• Academy - "And you are?" (must be Academy player to Academy player)
• Stoneywood Dyce (Grades side) - "Sorry, we'll have to scratch" (void if said before 10:00 on match day)
• Huntly (Northern Counties side) - (Editor's note: all the phrases here were considered too offensive and have been removed).