Bad light is a typical excuse used by a Dougie Anderson syndrome sufferer.

Dougie Anderson syndrome is a psychological ailment (exclusive to cricketers) whereby the affected individual will blame poor performance on external conditions and is extremely contagious. Most prevalent amongst top order batsmen, the negativity inherent in the condition is so virulent it can cause drastic batting collapses. Not to be confused with Dougie Anderson Complex, which affects bowlers in a similar way but is not thought to be a transmittable to others.

The condition was named after esteemed all-rounder, Doug Anderson, who, although not the first affected, has become the best known (and most obvious) sufferer. When opening the batting for his club at the time (Westburn C.C. now defunct) Doug would, in the case of a failure, blame "the f***ing wicket" or cast doubt over the umpires decision making ability. As one of the better Grades cricketers there has ever been, it was generally assumed by team mates that his failures were, in fact, down to his stated reasons and many would suffer accordingly. This continued for many seasons and it was only until he joined another club, St Ronald C.C., that the condition was identified as a mental aberration.

Doug himself, in later years, has largely controlled his affliction although flare-ups are never far away.

Typical symptoms

• A tendency to blame a wicket's erratic (especially low) bounce or sharp movement.

• Constantly alluding to weather condition or poor light.

• Exaggerating a bowlers abilities.

• Casting doubt upon an umpires decision making abilities or his neutrality.

In each case, there may be some basis in fact, but (generally) when an affected batsmen is dismissed, not enough time would have elapsed to provide sufficient empirical evidence and in any case, a known sufferer is incapable of restraint and any excuse offered will, over time, be recognized as such. Consequently, teams including a Dougie Anderson syndrome sufferer, will develop an immunity to it and it's effects gradually diminish.

Well known sufferers

• Doug Anderson - perhaps the most famous (ex Westburn C.C., St Ronald C.C.. Currently with Kintore C.C..

• Mike Gatting - when Shane Warne (making his debut for Australia) bowled "the ball of the century" to dismiss Gatting round his legs, the then England skipper allegedly told the rest of his batsmen that "this guy is the best bowler ever. Totally unplayable. I'd just give up if I was you lot!".

• Jon Lord (Grammar FPs) - Notoriously never out. Usually blames umpires.

• Deep Patel (ex-Cults) - Again, usually blames umpires or cheating fielders.

Similar ailments

Dougie Anderson Complex (bowlers)- sufferer believes that any run scored off him is lucky.

Hurricanitis (bowlers) - poor performance is blamed on bowling into the wind, the strength of which is usually greatly exaggerated.

No Hands Ephemeritis - an affected fielder will blame a dropped catch on wind or injury. Almost always results in imaginary finger injuries.

Indipandititis - related to No Hands Ephemeritis, a fielder has a tendency to over run a ball or get to a catch too early.