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DAC
can cause a great deal of mental anguish
to those afflicted by what is an often
misunderstood condition. |
Widespread
amongst Grades cricket bowlers, Dougie Anderson
Complex is a psychological, stress-related,
disorder that, when triggered, induces irrational
(mild) profanity. DAC is highly specific to
Grades bowlers, in general, but the risk of
developing the condition increases with age.
The
disorder initially manifests itself as a
self-delusory response to a successful shot
against a "shite" ball. At this
early stage it is possible for an affected
bowler to exert some control over himself,
however, repeated (perceived) good fortune
against his bowling will inflame the
condition to an irreparable degree and to
such an extent that any runs accrued, as a
result of his bowling, will be dismissed,
against all reason, as luck.
DAC
is a misunderstood condition often dismissed
as sour grapes or even as a form of PR
(Positive Reinforcement).
Typical
triggers and their responses
-
Batsman
chips one over the infield - "You
must've stepped in shit, this morning."
-
Batsman
thick edges a delivery over the top of slips
- "You (expletive optional) jammy
bastard!"
-
Batsman
pops one up to a where a fielder had been a
ball before - "Who moved ma (expletive
removed) fielder??"
-
Batsman
gets inside edge for 4 - "You're nae
claiming them runs, are ye?"
Related
Dougie
Anderson Syndrome - affects (mainly
top order) batsmen only.
Indipandititis
- a condition that effects fielders
Ephemeritis
- a general term for a medical condition
that affects cricketers. Has variants called
Fast
Bowler, No
Hands and Inzamam, amongst others.
SHD
(Selective Hearing Disorder) -
depending on the severity, can affect
batsmen of any ability.
CRAP
(Constant Repetition of the Appeal Process)
- affects individuals and teams.
Support
organizations
ADAPT
(Allow Dougie Anderson A Personal
Triumph) - 23 Castle Park Way, Kintore
or dougienotpammie@tiscali.net
(for any monetary contributions).
PACAMAC
(Protection of Aberdeenshire Cricket
Association Members with Ailments
(Cricket-related)) - Chief Medical
Officer, The ACA, ACA HQ, Shore Lane,
Aberdeen, AB11 6TF email: scamnotspam@dodgy.co.uk
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